ƸӜƷ Angela's

When boredom strike ~

2012-02-18T21:39:00.001+08:00

I'm so tired right now ! But I must must complete my assessment book before bed ! Headache since morning and there is no sign of recovery :(((

Okay! Enough of rants ! God , please give me some strength to hang on !:/ bye readers !

This is LIFE !:D

2012-02-11T20:58:00.003+08:00

Today was fun ! Went out with this two useless friend and they make my day ^^ <3 I'm satisfied with what I bought too! Had good food , shopping and chit-chat , I guess this is Life ! I should really be happy , don't I? Even if you're upset , the world doesn't stop just because you are stuck in the middle. Gotta 开开心心过每一天！:D Cheers ! Hehe

Photo spamz.!! Enjoy :>

HAI ! "Will you be my valentine ? " -Hongyi

Weak-hearted

2012-01-28T21:29:00.000+08:00

Sometimes , i wish everything , all these misery i had was only just a dream . Everytime i tried to work on my studies , a part of me was thinking about all those beautiful memories that i once had , inside , its tearing me . I tried over & over again but to no avail . All those flashback memories was still fresh in my mind , i can't afford to stop thinking about everything. Literally, every single thing in my life that I've nvr once succeeded in doing so. Yes , I feel so useless . All these insecurities just kill me bit by bit. Again , you all are not me , time will eventually heal , yes i know but ... what i'm concerning is NOW , it just dont go away , what to do .

I set up this protective walls around me to not get hurt by the same mistakes I've made again. I am under-going so much lately , too much for me to handle . I feel like giving up at this moment , just let it go and sleep for days & days peacefully. I hope for time to rewind back to the olds. But i realised it will never be .

我渐渐明白，那个你，早已经在当天离开的时候也离开了我。

Mentally exhausted

2012-01-24T18:04:00.001+08:00

It's all because of you ,
That I'm always wandering

Dreams Vs Reality

2012-01-15T02:06:00.001+08:00

Hello! Just a short update of how's my hectic life !

So after those busy school days , it's finally weekends ! Qianyu came my house to prepare for Jing Jie and Krishnan Oreo Cheesecake! :D Honestly it's both our first attempt and we are both super excited ! *yayy!

So , we are really proud to present two oreo cheesecakes within 12 hours !
This is our end product for Jing Jie ~

And , krishnan! :)

Afterwards , went to Vanessa BBQ celebration! Pictures will do the talking :>

My bed is calling me ! Goodnight lovelies ! ^^

I feel really upset about certain things. Again , i feel insecure about my looks , and everything.Everyone have nice body , pretty faces everywhere i go , but me ? I don't look good in most of the clothes i wore. I sucks big time. I feel so alone at times. I don't fit in any of the cliques. It's like we're forever outcast within them . I hate this feelings. It's always about friends . Fuck this disappointment.

xoxo.

2011-12-25T20:21:00.000+08:00

Dear Santa , I have the best Christmas gift ever.

He still remember our promises ... Honestly , right until now , i still can't forget that moment when i saw your text, it was totally unexpected and i actually tear .No one really understands what's going through me that's why they don't get it why i actually cried over such a simple text , i guess? I tell myself , it's okay . I'm contented. Through days of sleepless night , i think i can finally let go . It takes time but i'll try . I promise . Once again , Thank you for your last initiative . :') , it actually mean so much more than anyone could imagine.

Major Priority

2011-12-21T22:57:00.002+08:00

Wanna be that old me, again .

Unhappy me

2011-12-06T22:01:00.001+08:00

Sometimes , i really don't understand myself . I've been feeling really useless...... I hate this feeling . I no longer can play well. This interior fear is killing me . Ever got this feeling when the more you train, the harder you practice , in the end , you will just get more and more demoralized by the way you played. My layup percentage is getting lower and lower . My accuracy is nowhere .

To tell the truth , i hold myself back ever since i came back from Nepal . I've been missing countless of trainings because of Leopards. I'm not blaming Leopards for it but the feeling you get when your teammates is improving and either you still remain the same or drop .Then , when you are in court and you don't know the formation , you'll pull down the whole team . The worst feeling is that there's no second chance. Once you make a mistakes inside , you will just get replace. I really hate it when i'm being sub out , cus to me , it just prove that i'm not worth the fight. I get really demoralized like drop all the way to the bottom.

During training , when i tell myself to practice and play hard , but when i can't get the things that i used to be the most confidence in like layup and stuff right , i'll get frustrated. A number of times , i broke down , tears came out but i bet no one notice it. All my fustration , anger , upset and disappointment all went out..... This is not me . I don't understand why the feel is not coming back . And today match , it just prove it all. I'm lousy lousy lousy lousy lousy , what more could i get? I'm getting replace so easily. My teammates is getting stronger and stronger and we are all fighting for the position . I think what she said was right , i am being too reliant on seniors. I don't dare to control the ball today . I'm shaking and the feeling just isn't right. My mouth just doesn't want to shout out the fear . I'm like totally mute and i just cannot take it. I really want to help my teammates that are struggling to score but now what am i to help ? I'm just pulling everyone down.

However , i'm really thankful when Xu jiaolian gave me numerous chance inside the court today ..I didn't score , i didn't defence properly , i have many miss passes , he still sub me out a few times only. I really can see his giving me chance. I just know it , i guess ? Like for the first time , is him that gave me the courage. I rememeber when i was in sec 2 , having northzone . He is the one that pad me on my shoulder and say "you can do it, Must have confidence , i trust you . " (Something like that in chinese) and when i score , he clap and motivate me outside the court. It definitely boost my confidence level to a lot a lot a lot.

Yet now , it's all different. No second chance , no nothing.

I really wanna find back my passion , i don't want to waste another year again. I hope WE can really achieve our champion. I want it . :( so much ..

All over again

2011-11-24T23:15:00.001+08:00

I feel lost inside myself.

Now , where do i start finding my surge of confidence in court and out of court ?

Fly Fly Fly~~away

2011-11-13T00:11:00.001+08:00

Hi guys! I bet everyone is sleeping like a pig right now . Zzz . Haha . In about a few hours time , i'm flying over to Nepal . I cannot sleep well as my mind is flooded with thoughts. Mix emotions and feelings and i cannot describe it well in certain ways. :( I've been too timid , too terrified with many things that i foresee will happen there. I know i might be overthinking things again, but if you aren't me , you won't really understand every single bit of my feelings.

Frankly speaking , i can't put my mind in ease. Too many , just too many things. The awkardness we had , those quick glances , those surface words. I don't want it this way . I want it to be like how we are friends last year, i don't understand why we're in this state. I want it back , i hate all it use to be now. Now i get the meaning of" Once it's gone , it can never come back. " I understand now. However , i don't want it this way . I hope i can take my eraser and erase every bits and pieces of memories i had with you , by doing so , perhaps we can be friends back and things will not be this worse. Yknow , it was never my intention of letting it this way right now. This feelings sucks and it kills. I swear.

I'm afraid i'm not good enough , i fear a lot. I want to let it all out. I want to conquer this and get through it. Ask me what i really hope to achieve for this trip? I want us to be friends and zero awkwardness and everyone is happy and REALLY bonded inner and outer.

On a brighter note , i can leave singapore !THIS HELL! :p My point is ....I am very thankful for awesome awesome friends i have . People like my dearest Weiting that lend me her lucky chain when i told her i'm super scare :') This really warm my heart. She da best :D Alicia Soh & Qianyu , that hear my rants about this trip over & OVER again . Hahaha , thanks la:)) Shaun and Rophe actually bother to call me to ensure that i'll have a safe flight and so on :)) Messages from Osmund , Qianyu ,Boonhui , kexin ,Kenny , Weijie, Alvin , Loretta , krishnan ,Matthew blahblahblah . K shall stop here. :> They are super cool and awesome ;'>

Alright , I hope i can survive till 22 yea:< AND i hope we will have time to shop so i can buy something back for all my friends :D * Insert many lovesssss ! ;)

xoxo

10 important words in life

2011-11-10T22:12:00.001+08:00

The most selfish 1 letter word - I - avoid it.
The most satisfying 2 letter word - We - use it.
The most poisonous 3 letter word - Ego - kill it.
The most used 4 letter word - Love - value it.
The most pleasing 5 letter word - Smile - keep it.
The fastest spreading 6 letter word - Rumor - ignore it.
The hardest working 7 letter word - Success - achieve it.
The most enviable 8 letter word - Jealousy - distance it.
The most powerful 9 letter word - Knowledge - acquire it.
The most essential 10 letter word - Confidence - trust it.

Credited from some random web page

Tired of thinking

2011-11-08T23:03:00.000+08:00

I convince myself not to think about it , yet i still find myself in a sea of thoughts right until now. Each time , i persuade myself to forget you , forget you AND forget you , but you just keep appearing in front of me , keep wavering around my thoughts. It is not that i didn't try at all . I did. I tried so hard but to no avail :< Everywhere i go , Everything i do reminds me of you . It may seems little , but i remembered a whole lot. We did so much that i didn't realised. Many times , i saw you outside. I don't think it is a coincidence that we met .Today , i saw you . My heart skipped . I still cannot forget that quick glance of you . My heart definitely still hurt when i look into your eyes , so i turn away and walk away fast. I wanted to smile, i wanted to show the best of me to you , but just not now. :( I saw you with another girl . My heart immediately sank to the bottom . Was it your girl best friend or girlfriend? This question just keep spinning around my head. :'( While i was walking home , i was like 'so what' ? "You think so much for what? It is no longer your business right ? " Even if i care this dam thing , i am pretty sure you don't.

People say , fight for what you love, but i don't think this way . I didn't fight in order for you to find your happiness. I don't want to seem like a burden to you . It was never my intention . If only you'd hold on a little more, everything will change right now... I often ask myself this question , Why did you let go :( ?

Maybe i am not pretty enough?
Maybe i'm not good enough for you ?
Maybe i am not compatible with you?
Maybe i wasn't the right one for you ?
Maybe i don't have a nice figure?
Maybe i hadn't put in my best for you to fall for me?
~
The list just goes on and on .

This is getting nowhere. I feel like a trash just by the thought of how fail am i . Once again , I'm useless. I'm nothing.

Let me breathe ~

2011-11-03T21:53:00.000+08:00

Today , i was having a H2H talk with my dearest Qianyu and Hwee si after school . It gets me thinking though . Probably , this is why i need to express myself ...

Often I find myself unable to find the right amount of words to convey what I am feeling towards certain things and certain people. I consolidate my thoughts, place them hand by hand, only to realize that I am always thinking about thinking about things. Then what do I find in my thoughts? I can only have myself submerged in this raining drops of thoughts, and secretly tear up right inside, and in the middle of the night.

I don't know where to run towards to. Will you catch me when I fall? Sounds pretty cliche. But the truth is, ask yourself, honestly and truly, if I fall will you catch me? If I jump will you follow along? If I tear apart, will you fix me up? I still can't determine and measure side by side the ones who'll truly be there for me. Then again, I wonder if I will be there for anyone...?

If you know me, if you knew me.....then maybe you'll understand the meaning behind this post, the words behind every word. If you knew me.

I will be okay.

even now, i can't believe I still feel this way.

Gift from heaven

2011-10-31T20:57:00.002+08:00

Everyone used to believe in love, then they experienced a heartbreak, and the faith’s gone. But we shouldn’t give in to the person who broke our heart and lose our faith. It’s stupid to be sad when they’re happy with someone else. So why not live happily? Someone better out there might fall for your smile. That’s life .

I still miss you. a lot.

2011-09-18T20:32:00.001+08:00

Hi guys, i'm back to...... complaining bout my life. ;/ It never has been easy for me these past few weeks of my absence , not that i've stop blogging doesn't mean i'm doing fine , i'm more than NOT fine. There's so much more to do , so much more to lift up to teachers expectation . Everyday go home , shower , eat dinner and study . Less than 5 hours of sleep for week day . Wake up feeling so tired mentally yet have to tell myself to smile in school , skip recess doing PT , after school pack with meetings , trainings & stuff. Reach home near 7 \; My life is so not happening ! I need a LIFE ! EOY FASTER OVER ! I really want to take a break and enjoy my life to the fullest with my awesome friends. I want a haircut and go shopping ! :D K , so

I WILL SURVIVIE ! ;D

okthxbye.

What if you only have six months to live ?

2011-08-28T22:55:00.002+08:00

Hello everyone ! :DD

"What if i have only six months left to live? "
I ask myself , what will i do ? what can i do ? I was reading this storybook by Low Kay Hwa and then i came across this question , so Vivien and I decided to make this as our 'trisome 'blogging topic ^^
Guess what? My immediate respond was to spend 5 months with my boyf , 1 month with all my friends :) I guess i'll be doing some changes to it after doing some serious thoughts !:O I would not want to travel around the world , buying branded clothes and stuff. Think about it , we're only 15 , where can we get such a huge sum of money within a short period of time. I think that is pretty much unrealistic. :)

K , Firstly , i wouldn't tell ANYONE the truth, i'll pretend like nothing happened, spending 4 months with my boyf experiencing the most awesome teenage love ever. I asked myself ,

Love; do I really understand what love is all about? I’m only 15. What do I know about love? Then again, who is to say that young people cannot experience and realize what love is about? Teenage love; Often the sweetest love of them all. Tell me, when else will you get someone running up to your door to give you flowers? When else would someone tweet about his feelings, or ask for your forgiveness? When else would you have time to hold someone’s hands and run down the road with nothing but love in your mind?Teenage love, I’d say is where we experienced sweetest and most genuine love. Because that’s when we only know that we should give our love to the other party and that everything can come later.
I know i'll be definitely more than happy to spend time with the guy i truely love , i mean who don't right ! Even though he will be left with nothing when i leave , but i still want to be selfish for once, placing myself before others.

So , after i leave him , i'll definitely hide all my misery and living life to the fullest for another 60 days. I want to enjoy myself. Playing the sports i enjoy the most , trying new things , spent time with my family , my darlings and any other awesome friends.I really love to see them smile :) Of course , going anywhere to taste awesome food ! :P Most importantly , taking pictures and all . I know , Just when everything nd everyone changes , pictures don't .I'll definitely lock them all inside my heart C:

In the end , i'll pen down all my thoughts for these six months that i've lived . And prepare cards for people that i appreciate the most. At last , there goes my last chapter, and i'll just die peacefully somewhere over the rainbow ! :) LOL.

That's all for this topic ! Updating again soon! Stay tune :)

Failures

2011-08-22T19:34:00.001+08:00

I hate failures. )'"'"""""""""""""""""""; Tears welled up my eyes in school . I tried so HARD to hide it all back in . Even if it drop , i'll pretend to look in another direction to wipe off my tears. Countless of times i really wanna to break down in school today but i didn't . I don't wanna let that vulnerable side of mine to be showing , i hate it. My results like shit. Seriously , a piece of shit.

WHY AM I SOOOOO STUPID!!!!!
WHY CAN'T I DO WELL IN SOMETHING ?!?!
WHY AM I SUCHCA FAILURE.
JUST WHYYYYYYYYY.

Everyone was like comparing themselves for A , if they didn't get A , so will they get upset. For me ?! I'm still worrying about whether i pass anot ? DEFINITELY not worrying about 'A' stuff. I can't even score well for term test. I dare not boost about my results. So what if i studied so damn hard for it, in the end also didn't meet up to my expectations.I can never compare myself with others. I know where i stand, the very bottom among my classmates. .... Who really aim for a pass anyway ? Even if i say out , doesn't mean i want it. I HATE TARGET SETTING. WHAT BULLSHIT IS THAT MAN!

When i saw boonhui cried , i went forward and hug her and i nearly cried. I can feel the heartache.
During recess , while chasing the upper sec classes down, i let my tears fall , but i doubt anyone notice it. When my classmates gathered around my desk after recess, i almost cried again ... But i tried all means to smile at their silly actions. Thus , i'm able to hide it all back in . I admit , when she mentioned about xx name . I wanna cry .......... Gosh , just look how much i miss him )'; . Then , Really didn't have the mood to talk , but i maintain this strong front. I want to cry out , break down and just give up. I'm just a thrash .So much things to worry inside , i can't put my mind at ease. I hate myself cause i teared too easily.......Argh . )"; But thank god , i did much better for my POA this test. Little encouragement for the day , but i'm definitely not contented.

slept for 2 hours , didn;t have much appetite for dinner . Hardly really talk while i'm at home , My tears just cannot stop flowing.... , useless right? Really need a shoulder to rely on . I can't take it anymore .

I'm sorry for the poor attitude , again (as you said) I think you just stay away from me bah , i'll never be a good friend. Also , i don't think i'll explain anything to you cause it's pointless. Just , sorry.

Smile , cause it's free !:D

2011-08-16T00:01:00.008+08:00

HELLO HELLO!

How are you guys coping so far? :) Term Test week sucks ! Stress level super high and my mood has never been constant, at the range of high and low anytime , anywhere ! I really wish i can be more positive towards life. Really , I wish i could do it. But it never happen . Negativity always fill my thoughts. I can never be a positive person in my life , i guess..

Why am i always so careless?! I can't even get a simple question right , how do i even expect a harder ones? -__- I really hate myself for that.And everytime i'll tell myself , nvm , just a test, not MYE or EOY. But i am not feeling this way! In fact , I mind a lot a lot . I mind myself being lousy , i mind myself being stupid. Argh .... I just want to do well in every single tests , isit so hard ? I don't want my level position to be 40+? ( Can't remember) Neither do i want my class position to be a freaking 20 . Where is the old me ?! I use to get the top 10 position for both and just look where i stand now ?! Demoralizing isn't it ? ); As much as i want to do better , i can't . I know i'm fucking useless and dumb. Sucks to be me . seriously.

----

Whatever it is , i'm blogging at this hour is because i'm smiling like a retard in front of my computer right now ! I was thinking about the bus ride conversation when i'm with benedict soh , krishnan, swan yee , weijie , alvin , kenny .:) I swear it's hilarious talking crap &amp;amp;; gossiping with them! :D it's like the whole bus belong to us , we talk at the top of our voice like nobody business :P Currently , I'm looking at those photos being taken while we're playing basketball at canberra park ytd. I cannot stop laughing at the two 小姐:DDD Really hadn't have so much fun in ball already! No stress , no nothing , just plain retard playing &amp;amp; joking away~

Credits to Caiwei !:D

Each and everyone will receive the medal :) Feels great to sweat a lot a lot ^^

小姐 -&amp; it's; KENNY BONG ! HAHAHAHA.

His the joke of the day:D

I hadn't see Alicia's laughter for quite some time already! Haha. I knew she have lots of fun ^^

Haha , joke ! :P

小姐 no.2 ! BENEDICT SOH! :D Another joke , couple with KENNY :DDD

And , I would really love to go there again with more jokers that brighten up my gloomy day:)) , somemore , it's so peaceful , with the entire park to us ! :P

That's all! Goodnight , gonna off my com and sleep! 1 more paper to go~ ! :D

Breathe Angela.

2011-08-07T21:48:00.007+08:00

In the end , i still find myself here. My blog has always been a very special place for me to visit everytime when i need someone the most. I don't deny i've awesome friends around me , why don't i call or text them ? Well , i believe somethings should be kept inside .. As much as i hate being a keyboard warrior , i still can't help it. It's my only way out by typing every single shits out here.

Everything seem to be changing , including the people around me & myself. I've been constantly trying and making the effort to let things run smoothly , even if it does not . I'll tell myself , it's okay . Be contented about it & Don't need to broad about it anymore. However , i know i can't be satisfied.

My Life has always been like , that. Even if i did nothing wrong , people will just wanna accuse you for the things you've not done, misunderstood you for the things you did not say .
And as you grew older , you realised that you're trying too hard to make the people around you to be happy , forgetting that it's not possible to please anyone . Worst , you even neglect about yourself.
When my emotional & vulnerable side of me is showing , i'll try all means to hide it back in .

You hate your tears pretending to be strong ,
You cried in the middle of the night hoping that no one will see .
You went for a jog / or play basketball pretending that you wanna have a healthy lifestyle
but the truth is you just wanna tire yourself out.
You're constantly laughing / smiling hoping that no one will notice
that you're actually feeling the reverse .
You keep yourself busy everyday to make sure that you won't think about other bothering stuffs.
You tell your friends that you're tired of school ,
but actually you're just tired of the people around you .
You have to accept whatever nasty words people got to say about behind / in front of you .
as this is reality .
You tolerate all the nonsense and bullshit to the extend that
you vent it all out in whatever you do / say to people
You said you're fine when you know you're already breaking down .

& the list goes on and on .....
And then you're so used to doing the same old thing over & over again .
It becomes like a daily routine you'll do & say anywhere & everywhere you go .

One day , you just couldn't take it anymore..

You eventually broke down .

August ; You

2011-08-01T21:04:00.002+08:00

Went on with Qianyu and Darren on Sunday :) Cwp > Bugis > Crystal Jade ^^ Had a really fun time with both of them . We laugh at some stupid actions we've made. It's been quite awhile since i have some really fun outing . We talk some stuff out too . Overall , it is definitely a fun outing:DD

To think that after this outing , i need to settle down for my term test and after term test will be EOY. Time really does flies don't they ? Before we realise , it's already August. Nothing wait for me , i've got to really work hard for my examinations and graduate asap . I can't wait to get out of this school . There are already many things that i want to do after i graduate , so i really can't wait !

Sometimes , i don't understand myself either. I tend to get really piss at certain things that i don't even know why am i so petty in the first place. I need to change .

Cherish what you have before it's too late.

2011-07-30T19:26:00.005+08:00

*I cut my fringe myself! HAHAHA! :D

----

Derick:
I guess we are the left-overs in this world.

Lily:
I think so...all of my friends have boyfriends, and we are the only the 2 people left in this world without any special person in our lives.

Derick:
Yup, I don't know what to do.

Lily:
I know! We'll play a game.

Derick:
What game?

Lily:
I'll be your girlfriend for 30 days
and you will be my boyfriend.

Derick:
That's a great plan, in fact, I don't have anything to do
much for the following few weeks.

DAY 1:
They watch their first movie
and they both are touched by the romantic film.

DAY 4:
They went go to the beach and have a picnic. Derick and Lily have their quality time together.

DAY 12:
Derick invited Lily to a circus and they ride through a Horror House.
Lily was scared and she thought she touched Derick's hand but she actually touched someone else's hand they both laughed.

DAY 15:
They saw a fortune teller down the road, and they asked for their future advice.
The fortune teller said:
"My darlings, please don't waste the time of your life, spend the rest of your time together, happily." Then tears flowed out from the teller's eyes.

DAY 20:
Lily invited Derick to go to the hill
and they saw a meteor; Lily mumbled something.

DAY 28:
They sat on the bus, and because of a bumpy road Lily gave her first kiss to Derick by accident.

DAY 29:
11:37 pm:
Lily and Derick sat in the park where they first decided to play this game.

Derick:
I'm tired Lily...Do you want anything to drink? I'll buy you one...I'll just go down the road.

Lily:
An Apple Juice, that's all. Thank you.

Derick:
Wait for me.

20 minutes later
A stranger approached Lily

Stranger:
Are you a friend of Derick?

Lily:
Yes, why? What happened?

Stranger:
A reckless drunk driver ran over Derick, and he is in critical condition in the hospital.

11:57 pm:
The doctor walked out of the emergency room; he handed Lily an apple juice and a letter.

Doctor:
We found this in Derick's pocket.

Lily reads the letter and it says:
Lily, These past few weeks, I realized you are a really cute girl, and I am really falling for you-your cherished smile, your everything when we played this game. Before this game ends, I would like you to be my girlfriend for the rest of my life.
I love you, Lily.

Lily crumpled up the paper and shouted:

"Derick! I don't want you to die-
I love you; remember that night when we saw a meteor and I mumbled something. I mumbled that I wish we would be together forever and that we would never have to end this game. Please don't leave me Derick .. I love you! You can't do this to me!"

Then the clock strikes 12...

Derick's heart stopped pumping...

It was the 30th day.

You're always on my mind

2011-07-28T22:49:00.004+08:00

Can i give this 'Face' to everything -__-

Seriously , this feelings sucks.

I hate the sight of many things and people.

Everytime i hope things will go on smoothly , it turn out the otherwise. Everytime i see your face , i'm tearing inside , not that i have butterflies , but just that constant heartache. It's not getting away . I am the girl whom cry for many lil things , and it still is now , just that for different issues. I just hope i'm a little bit stronger inisde. I won't tear easily. Definitely hadn't been a good day . Almost everyday . I feel like dying with this ugly face of mine too. =/ Unhappy part is that I would really appreciate if some people don't know what has been done behind the scene to stfu before any words had been spat out by you guys. Seriously , i don't feel good even though i smile my way through .... However , there are still some whom always had been there for me to cheer me on :) I love all of them ! As i know i'm being cared for and it means a lot C: Oh yes , training with them also has been a pleasant one. :) Thanks girls ! ;)

Everything seems to get harder and harder to please. Higher and higher expectations to lift up . Stronger and stronger front to maintain . Studies becoming harder and harder to cope. Basketball becoming lousier and lousier . #FML.

~~Still missing you . When will you ever talk to me again or should i say , when will i ever see you everyday in school ?~~ ~~the promise, do you still remember?~~

The sleepless nights and the tears

2011-07-25T23:00:00.000+08:00

All i ever wanna say was ,

I'm sorry for not cherishing you when i've got the chance to .

I'm sorry for not trusting you a little bit more .

I'm sorry for the things i've done & said behind your back .

I'm sorry for not knowing it earlier.

And i'm sorry , cause the you whom use to love me deeply is gone.

心好痛.

2011-07-19T23:19:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday to that SERENA SIM ! :D

We love her many many! <3

Hello readers ! :D Short update !

School days were really busy for me.
Hardly had enough sleep during week days. ): (less than 5 hours)
Tired of every single emotional outbreak .
Truth always hurts.
Yet, i'm glad that i knew it all , at last.
心好痛.
All these while , it's killing me .
I ONLY see you among the large crowd.
I miss him. Like really really do .
11:11 I hope you're someone close to me right now.
Thinking about what they've shared , i feel really really bad.
I feel like crying. ;'(
i seriously need to change my blogskin real soon .
i'll make a proper post about my emotions. :/ I need to vent it out again .

See ya ! soon.....

What does 'Sorry' means?

2011-07-12T17:36:00.002+08:00

"Sorry" is supposed to be a word filled with regret, compunction and even deplorable. But it is commonly used only for the sake of covering up for something you've done but not sincere about in apologizing. I question, why is the word "sorry" being used so lightly? No, it shouldn't be just another word in your life, you're supposed to mean it, before you say it. How can you be 'sorry' for something you've not done, or 'sorry' for something you don't know you did? With my own experience, I feel that sorry is really a word taken for granted. It's so commonly used that people think lightly of it. In any circumstance when things are going wrong, the immediate word that comes to their minds are often "Sorry" They'll think:"Okay, I'll just apologize so I can get things going" But that's not what sorry is supposed to mean.

Both females and males, they say "Sorry for breaking your heart, I didn't mean it" Ouch, it's a laughable joke. #1: You just misused sorry, you used sorry cos' you certainly can't find any word to substitute it, can you? #2: I didn't mean it, so "I didn't mean it" is referring to you didn't meant the sorry or the breaking of heart? If you didn't mean to break the heart, then why did you? Never ever ever use that tag-line in a break-up.

There also people who are often taken advantage of, even if things aren't their fault, they'll say "I'm sorry" so the others often make use of them. And they don't even notice it?! Sorry is like a habit for them, kick that habit away okay? Then there are those people who say "sorry lor" in a you-know-it's-sarcastic way; STOP USING SORRY FOR THE WRONG REASONS. And one of the last kind of ways sorry is misused, you know you've done something wrong, but you don't know what and then you just say sorry?! Urgh, do you know that's what angers the person even more?! I know you want to make things right, but at least ask what you did wrong first. DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR NOTHING.

I admit I use sorry wrongly at times, but at least I've the guts to admit it, do you guys have? And what is sorry to you?

Ponder.

What's on mind tonight

2011-07-05T23:34:00.027+08:00

Confession #1 : I miss Him. .Sometimes , i really can't help it but to browse through his twitter or fb just to check for his daily updates. Why am i like this then ? I promise myself to forget about him, didn't i? Deep down , I hope some of his tweets were still referring to me . Instead , I want it to be. ); I have this fear , the fear of seeing him around the school , it makes me really nervous rather thus i can't wait to get out of the school everytime. i prefer to watch him from a far, knowing that he will never realize i'm there. I dare not look into his eyes anymore. I want to suppress my feelings so that i would forget about him. I've been putting up the "happiest" smile in school , just to let him know that i'm alright. However , that day , when i unknowingly saw him , my heart skipped just like before. He've got a smile that could light up my world. Really. That moment , i could still picture it clearly on my mind. My effort of forgetting him are wasted just like that. I force out my smile purposely, had he notice it ? I wonder. But , deep down in my heart , i really want to talk to him . Just so yknow, I never had the intention of losing him but the situation dedicates that we can't be .The very least . i'm glad. i knew his gonna work hard for this major exam, and i can't wait for the good news :'> hmm, I know it isn't a crush . Every feelings of mine towards him is still here. *point to my heart. *

Confession #2 : I wonder if i'm fit for it. Because of you . I can't really put my mind on ease. Not because i'm scare of you .It is just the hurts & pain . I know you don't wish to see me , neither do you want me to be there. But , i hope you could just acknowledge it . Surprisely , i could still feel the pain . Months has passed, it is still there , and i'm yet to feel it until today when i saw your face right near me, my heart sank down . Memories of every single shit came flashing onto my mind. I know i can't concentrate well enough afterwards. I shouldn't be feeling this way becus i know we're nothing . But , the scars that you've cause , doesn't heal. I've tried to put up a strong front facing you , and it was pretty well hidden i guess. Yet, the fear and sadness was beyond me. I'm sorry , but i have to say , i'm good for nothing.

Once & for all . I'm sick of it. );

Crying night

2011-06-28T23:34:00.004+08:00

Am i really that useless or worthless , until my father is asking me to go and die. Sometimes , i really cannot take all these shit that's happening to me , everyday when i got home , i'm dead tired physically & emotionally . I still have to wash dishes, fold clothes , dump those trash bags, clear up the kitchen mess .Afterwards, i get to relax a bit after my long standing time. My injury is getting a little bit worser partially due to it. Yet i'm not complaining . I do more than my brother does, i EVEN STILL HAVE to take care of my older brother . If anything goes wrong , like packing the wrong food for them , they give me attitude for that. When i'm sleeping , my father can even call me up to go and buy newspaper or whatever ingredient for him .Do i have a choice , no . He will end up throwing tantrum at me. I'm the one suffering from all these crap , my brother need not get those.

"You said you take care of us , why are you all treating me like an enemy in this family. " F . When did you ever take care of us ?! 1 week , 30$ per person , week days cook dinner , sometimes also dun have cook , then weekend go gamble. If lost $ , we will all get it , he will slam the door, throw tantrum at us countless of times. Seriously, i really want to have a family day or something, but will i get to have this treatment ?! NO. never. i admit, my tone of talking to you might not be good at times. But can't you just understand ?? School sucks everyday , problems after problems which i bottle it up . EVERYDAY , EVERYTHING IS JUST A PIECE OF SHIT. seriously, give me a break . I really hope i wasn't born here.

You say you regret having us , and ask us to go and die followed by all kind of vulgarities. Well , that moments hurts, though i always been telling myself that its just a waste of space having me here in this world, but i cannot believe that even my father feels the same thing too. Thanks. best .father. ever.
Times like this , i really need a hug from somebody, telling me that everything is gonna be alright.

Shorty Chang & Action fiq !! ;)

2011-06-26T23:56:00.001+08:00

Hello hello!!!:). I'm currently using my brother iPhone to post this for my shorty Ernchi & action syafiq !:D This gonna be a really messy post because I find it very hard to type down my thoughts plus, there is no pictures!;/ Moreover, that shorty is seriously bhb until keep pressing me to post about she and syafiq ! So, let me ask , where got such bhb , loud , talkative senior !;P haha .

Anyway, both of this two crazy seniors seriously are my awesome flag raiser senior ever ! Whenever I'm feeling down , they will somehow know it and would comfort me by doing some nonsense , retarded actions ;)Though, I always say those sarcastic words or will do sth that is "rude" . I hope you guys know I meant the opposite ! I appreciate what you guys have done , big or small, I remembered ever lil things ;)) I still keep every card that shorty had given me since sec 1 ;) Nevertheless, I dare say, both of you really take care of me like a younger sister ( though I'm alr mentally matured than both of you )! :D I'm also really glad that both of you shares problems or love life problems with me ! (Hehe , told you, I'm way more matured ;p )

Lastly , thanks Ernchi for her dedicated post to me ! Hehe ;D I cannot believe i'm smiling like an idiot when I read that. And and, thanks both of you for showing me countless of concern when you know about ahem...

So ... I just want to tell you guys , I will always love Shorty & Action! Never will I leave you behind when you all need a listening ear or talking crap partner, even gossiping partner ! * wink ! etc
I'll always be there * promise * <3

Last Chapter.

2011-06-21T23:35:00.008+08:00

It took me quite awhile to name my post as the 'Last Chapter' . I took the shuttle bus from yishun all the way to ssc and then walk home from there. You see , i really need time to think about quite a number of stuffs that has been running through in my head. And i could really say , this long distance does help me in thinking . Sometimes , being alone just feels so comfortable. I need this alone time.

Talking about what happened ytd night. 22:22 . Once again , i was badly hurt. Those fake masks that i use to cover myself everyday has been getting lesser and lesser effective. I can feel myself on the verge of breaking down anytime. Fake hopes, lies , crap , bullshit. I'm sick of it. A number of times, i chose to ignore what Alicia said , & want to believe what you've said . In the end, this is the kind of treatment i'm getting back from you . So , i really feel like a fool . Hate myself . Times like these , i really hope i do not exists and i can just sleep & never wake up .

He said " I know you are heartbroken"
I replied " Nop , not at all . I'm fine. "
{ I was really tearing )'; } I feel as though i'm suffocating . Those memories , i can't forget. Sad that , you just don't feel the way i feel . Admit it , you're just using me , treating me like a toy . I feel like a fool countless of times. Finally, i see no point in anything already . I know me & you will never gonna work in anyhow. Do you think i've a choice or say in whatever you mention ? You come up with everything , end with nothing, walk away & leave me in broken pieces. You're still so self-centered. I'm speechless. I really hope times could rewind back to before your camp. I really miss that you . Where did you go \;

Frankly speaking, I could still feel the lil heart beat that jump when i see you . Those butterflies in my stomach . It's still not getting away . I'm still expecting your msg everyday , thinking that you will change your mind. And when i've got a text late at night, i thought it was you! I opened it up and realised it wasn't. This feeling really sucks.. How disappointed can i get ?=/ Ever tried going to bed with a heart that weigh so heavy that i end up crying myself to sleep . Each night , the same feelings , same thoughts, all about you . These feelings , you will never ever know how it feels like to be. Therefore, The very least , i must stay strong no matter what happens outside. Never will i let my loose end out to you .I don't like sympathy .   even though i really am heartbroken inside.

I'll be fine right?

Butterflies all over my stomach .

2011-06-17T23:01:00.004+08:00

Hello guys ! Just a short update of how i have been :>

Busy training , basketball camp + council camp are over. I'm so glad that's all over , truely had fun ! ^-^ Lacking of sleep these days . Piles of homework awaiting for me to touch on . And today , i went to kbox at Nex with Weiting :D It's just so nice to sing like nobody business even though our singing wasn't that fantastic ;) Had Korean dinner at a resturant with kpop songs played ;) After that , home sweet home !

Okay , nothing much already! :D

Pencil & Eraser

Pencil: You know, I'm really sorry.

Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.

Pencil: I'm sorry, 'cause you get hurt because of me. Whenever I make a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller every time.

Eraser: That's true, but I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though, one of these days, I know I'll be gone and you have to replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.

I could feel this quote. I could relate to it. I just saw this again, my brother's friend posted it up and I remembered seeing this month ago. You're my pencil, you write my life you make mistakes, but I'll always be there to erase your wrong-doings giving you my back. This is all I can feel for you. I'll be gone one day, but at least I lived my time doing what I love -- being there for you.

You have a way of coming easily to me ,

And when you take , you take the very best of me.

Dear Quotes , I let you speak for me.

2011-06-11T23:43:00.000+08:00

Goodnight world.

Kit-Kat boy .

2011-06-02T22:39:00.013+08:00

Should i be happy to know the answer or sad that i've known the answer .. My heart feel so heavy . I wanna cry out but i can't. I feel so upset. Yet i could tell her & him that i'm not upset.My respone was , "i'm alright , Ok-Ok , not that sad..." Seriously , i can't believe those words were spat out from my mouth ... To make myself "strongER" , I've stopped myself from posting too much emo stuff on my twitter . I don't like it when you asked about my status as i knew i wouldn't be able to answer. Its all about you yknow ... How could i possibly still tell you everything. And so , the only place i could thrash everything out without worrying that you might see it , shall be here .

You told me the answer that night , and i can say , my heart hurts , i feel like a knife just stabbed right through my heart , and its bleeding , tearing badly. I put many ':)' and even ' haha' to show you that i'm not a least bit affected. Yes , acting "strong" again .. You asked me if you've given me hope , my real answer was a 'Yes' But i chose to deny the fact . I don't wanna let you know that i've already place my happiness in your hands. Thus , Out of sympathy , you will agree to whatever i've requested you to do so . Its not what i wanted. I don't wanna be just a toy to you . I deceive myself many times and i got sick of it. I tried to make out as much time as possible for you . I tried to guess what's on your mind everyday till i'm so exhausted mentally each night. And , I asked myself " Am i going to continue this way " . In the end , i just want the best from you . I really wish to enter your world even if its just a tiny bit of space that you could give me . Now, I don't know the reason how you could still treat me so well , knowing that i'm nothing to you . So tell me , what do you want ? How are you trying to make me feel . Hais, this feeling just sucks ttm .

I never thought you don't feel the same way as i did after what we had gone through... I'm upset by your answers. Disappointed by all your replies. I don't mind putting you before me , but the fact that you don't really care a lot about how i feels , hurts me . Seriously , i don't blame you for what you did even if you're a self-centered person . Perhaps that's just an excuses from you , i knew you don't feel the spark as i did , so before you say those answers , i knew this would happen. ;/ I guess i still need to know a lot of things from you , its still not the end. I'm still pondering over a lot of things as there's just too much ' I don't know' from you. I wish you could just thrash out everything therefore i kept my feelings hidden from you up till now. How could i know anything if you don't know what's on your head .I want some miracles to happen , i don't want to end this .. I knew that there's not much things for me to do , just got to continue believing. ;'(

SO MUCH MEMORIES YOU'VE GIVEN ME .

HOW COULD I FORGET .

I DON'T WANNA BE JUST A GIRL THAT NEVER CROSS YOUR MIND .

Henderson Wave

2011-05-31T11:48:00.004+08:00

More picture at Facebook ! ;)

Sweating like mad ! :@

Beautiful ! :D

see- saw! Wee !:)

♥

Its been really long since vivien & I had went out tgt :) I truely enjoy the cooling weather at the top :) The scene is nothing but beautiful . Bus ride of an hour to reach the destination . And we sweated a lot just to walk up there , its all worth it , don't it ? :) We had a bird eye view of everything .IWANTOGOTHERE again :> *wink .

Lastly , i've change my blogskin after so long , Basically , i find a need to change my ugly dull blogskin away so here is it :) I know its a bit weird we all the colour combination , But i'm still trying to dress this web page up , so do enjoy your stay here. Deeply appreciated if you could comment or rate any of my post :)

The Beginning

2011-05-28T23:30:00.001+08:00

Hi guys :)

Finally comes the JUNE HOLIDAY! yayy! Oh well , i guess it wouldn't be easy as almost all the dates are packed. Like Bball camp , followed by council camp , other activites by the school & outings :D I guess i really need more time to meet up with all my dearest friends ^^ Simply love them ;) Homeworks that i've written down a list on my memo pad in order to remind myself to spent some time studying and completing those holiday assignments. =/ Results for midyear was lousy . damn lousy . Never had expected such disappointing results at all . Just as everything had happened , so i'm not gonna regret for whatever i've not done . Because i know i had studied & i don't believe in regretting anything .

And

I need SLEEP !

Hehe , vivien took it when i slept at ish :> This month ,i could just sleep as and when i like , I can't control the tiredness inside myself. I want to sleep , but i can't , yet in the morning i start to feel sleepy. So , my favourite two places to sleep excluding my room is at council room & ISH. ;) Simply so comfortable! Guys , i urge you to try it out :D

Alright , that's it for now , Iwillupdateoften :) try .

Like a Bitch .

2011-05-24T23:59:00.001+08:00

Tonight is a beautiful night .

I still can't describe nor put into words about my feelings to xx now.

Eventually , as time passes i'll be able to have it clearer in my mind

To lessen my burden on my heart .

♥ this picture. And i miss my long hair >:

♥ ,

Its so . unexplainable.

UPDATE FOR THE SAKE OF UPDATING

2011-05-19T22:04:00.004+08:00

-Updating a proper one soon, not really in the mood though ... -Next post , I bet its gonna be damn emo again ): Simply becus there's no happy things to share except for rants , fustration , unhappiness, piss-off , shitty results .. blahblah ~ . \:

Anyway , Universal Studio on wednesday with darlings :) I'm so proud of myself & vivien! We tried out on the Battlestar Galactica! which turn us upside down , steep , fast & furious! :D HAHA.

Yes , the blue & the red one was like giving me a heart attack!

Yet , we lifted up the courage to try that out :D WAHAHA!

6 times of mummy ride with Alicia :D We were like different people , different entertain for us ^^ Damn joker :D haha

Kinda lost of words these days. Don't know why .

Now , i'm afraid of sinking in too deeply ..

2011-05-14T01:39:00.016+08:00

To be direct or not be direct was good ? Why must I walk rounds and rounds then stop and say out what I want? Isn't it so much better if I was frank? Then again, certain words and things are meant to be kept the way they were. Well I am weird. And at times, I don't understand myself either. When I have a liking for someone, I realize, at the end of the day, I'll just give it a shot. To whether I fail or not, it's more of the process that I will then be maturing, so on and so forth. It's always a matter of time before I let the other party know that I like them. Switching this chain of thoughts for a moment, I am surprised. I kept my feelings for suppressed. And I wonder what I take him as now. Would I in the eventually still let him know what I had felt initially? Well back here, about me being weird.

I guess the friendship I had built for the past weeks is equal to nothing .. Constantly been feeling so confused by my thoughts. I don't know if what i'm doing was right, its like leading myself to the dead end where you know you do not have a choice either. So , tell me what to do about it >? I know its worthless trying to love at this age , but we're human-beings , no matter what age , we are all maturing in certain ways and do have feelings right =/ I guess i'm being way too obvious. Wait , i think he knows, or hadn't he? Chasing after someone for the first time was shitty . Cus you've got to be brave & strong or even thick-skinned .... I've never had this experience of doing so for all my years , its completely different. And if you get those one sentence text , or even being the one making the conversation alive so that we wouldn't stop texting , How would you feel ? >:

People say , 'take the first step ' . I am afraid of rejections, no, I shouldn't be talking so much, I will let all my loose ends out. But I still got to pour them out. I hate goodbyes, hate being left all alone like everything was just a dream .Basically, I am afraid of rejections, so I reject myself before being rejected. Eventually, I kept my feelings and suppressed it .

10May2011

Finally i am..... 15th!

So, allow me to thanks all of your for your birthday wishes ^^ & Present etc :D Its means a lot !;) Will be celebrating both vivien & my birthday on this coming tue to USS ! *Excited*

know what , : I completely had no idea where the hell i got my surge of courage from , I feel as though my heart is dropping ! Woahh..... it was your smile that lifted my smile up;)) Thanks for making my day if you didn't realise it . *Melting heart *

Lastly ,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIVIEN! :) 14-05

我迷失了方向,

2011-05-03T00:07:00.005+08:00

Dear Dreams,

Technically... I'm not so sure if my dreams are supposed to mean "My Aspirations" towards life or that it meant "What I dream of at night" But I'll just write to "What I dream of at night" first. I think I'm really happy to be able to dream. Certain people can't... But I can, and I'm grateful. At times, those dreams may turn into nightmares. But there are times where nightmares turn into sweet dreams too. So I'm really glad... ha-ha. I love to sleep because that's when I have a chance to dream of things I wanna do but don't get a chance to. Dream of people I wanna meet but can't. It's a really awesome thing to be able to dream. Certain times... dreams will be super ridiculous. But I guess that's okay.... that's what is so fun isn't it? There's nothing much to tell my dreams... because, I simply love them. And that's that. ;)

Hmm , Aspirations ? whats that? i don't have one to be frank... I don't even know what drives me everyday . Just live life for the sake of it and go on to decide under the worst circumstances . I envy those people who have dreams that they are working towards to everyday . How nice ;) But as for me , my plan is to get the best result , having a variety of choices to choose to study ? Maybe it would work this way . :D

Anyway , how have you guys been doing ? Busy studying for mye , i suppose. So am I ! Gosh .___. Two more days to our first paper ! Having to think abt it , it just brings cold sweat to me only T-T . I just hadn't done enough and all i'm left is to yearn for time extension which is like so impossible . Crap! Anyway ,
I just want to say , Goodluck to you all ^^ , Do your best now ,if not you'll just end up regretting afterwards. DONT GIVE UP ! :D

[ I know that you know that it will get better.

Today might not be the day, tomorrow might not be either.

But one day,

We are gonna have it all.]

With love ,

Angela

Spare me some happiness. please.

2011-04-27T22:37:00.008+08:00

Life had been a bitch all along .Things are not going my way . I am just feeling so down.

Thinking of the past weekends that i've wasted , procastinating , playing a fool , i regretted like a whole lot shit now. Even if i did study for the whole day , nothing goes into my head ! =/ I've been constantly feeling that i'm way far far away , as in its taking forever to catch up on whats suppose to be . How could almost half of my class got A1 for POA ?! I just hadn't done enough . Haiz. Frankling speaking , i takes things slower than others. I absorb /react /learnt blahblah all slower than others. Thats why i tend to take the extra miles to reach certain destination or goals. But , this doesn't bring me down . In fact , it shouldn't . I just got to live with this fact. Though , i've always be chasing behind the rest, never once leading , i don't give up . I work harder, yes i did.

This term sucks , i have the tendency of giving up easily. It was definitely not the usual me . Simple test i can fail ... Its like i work too hard on the advance & forget all abt the basic for trigo , thats why i freaking failed that test. I think i could relate this like playing on a basketball match. When facing weak opponents , we tend to be weaker than them?! Its like how could this be man? Perhaps our mind was not strong enough or we are too complacent . Eventually ,we lost like so unexpected.. Then when we are playing against strong opponents , we played harder than we expected . We've got this strong mindset of overcoming this huge stone that are blocking us towards the champion , tats why we achieve it , we won ! & It was like the happiest achievement we ever had . ( i still rmb that particular match) Yah~ , its like my math test .________. I neglected the small .

Cookies that darlings bake ^^v

(Can't wait for those photos to be uploaded ! , but its gonna be like long long long ~~)

---

Yesterday night , I really was touched by the words my father said . How great can he be? :'> He gives me the courage and confidence to face every mistakes in my life . Know why ? Ytd , he walked into my room ... He actually watch me doing my hmk and asked me to be happy. He said " think abt the eoy trip as your motivation , no matter how lousy is your result , i'll support you . Dont give yourself too much stress , let things be , if its meant to be , it will be . " Hearing this , tears welled up my eyes. i just cannot believe simple encouragment like this could mean a lot. Awww... his amazing . Yet another side of it actually drive me to work harder cus of his words. I don't want to disappoint myself. After all , i'm still doing it for myself.

I can say , i hardly had any smiles on my face lately , moody & speechless . I fake it well enough that no one actually sees the pain behind my smile. Its like others had their own problems/stress too , especially on this mye. Thats why i chose to bottled up my sadness or troubles. I know this can't hold long thats why i broke down and just let my tears out till nothing left. I feel much better yeah , and After writing this , I know i'm not facing my problems alone , i have my family ,darlings , my friends , readers & anyone ....with me :)

Sinking in deeper & deeper .

2011-04-23T21:50:00.002+08:00

Northpoint (KFC) > Airport > Northpoint > Home .

I feel so happy today :) Great fun with these crazy pretty ladies & crazy gentlemen. We were suppose to be studying , yet we end up camwhoring all around the places. Okay , i know 'studying' in the airport already sound super weird right ? i mean , do you see ppl studying there except for those cafe , mac & stuff :P Well , actually that place was meant to be very quiet while its us that make it so-so noisy =) Hmm , i still manage to finish up my d&t work yeah :) Video-ing abt everything & anything . Talk crap & plan for our upcoming holidays outing :D Woah , seriously , i can't wait for this mye to end quickly , events like council investiture & speech day was what i looked forward to ^^ Moreover , outings & more outings , pictures & MORE pictures :)) I just love to take beautiful pictures , it definitely have the ability to cheer people up :>

me studying :))

:DD

I look like some pregnant woman in this picture T-T

Dear qianyu , ( HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU ) :D -> requested by her to post this !

Love you like 100000000000000000000 and the zero goes on & on :D You're an amazing girl that i could get along well with yknow ! You are like heartbroken ? Upset ? Though you keep reassuring us that you'll be fine (going) but yah , we all know that , you've been suffering the pain in your heart. I know you've had so much of love & friendship problems just in these few days . Feel like giving up everything right ? I know hows it feels. Oh well , & probably you might feel that the world is against you or sth , but it isn't alright. Remeber , after the rain & storm , always comes the rainbow :D You would definitely feel happier than now , i promise <3 Stay strong no matter what happens. Don't avoid , cus you know you're not gonna run away forever. Lift up your courage to face this ugly reality . I know you can do it , honey :) I love you like so much yknow ! No matter what happens , i would stand by you kays ! ^^

Just to let you know , i always want to go out with a bunch of people like you all , esp with you too . It would allow me to forget abt all my shit stuffs when i'm with you all .Camwhore , talk crap & all these. I feel so happy yknow ^^ Jio me out everytime alright. :D

ILoveMyBestFriend *insert heart *

BIG QUESTION MARK.

2011-04-20T20:31:00.004+08:00

The moon looks as if it's emitting it's own light

I AM FEELING SO DIFFERENT. MY HEART IS WAVERING. I THINK I AM ATTRACTED TO HIM. BUT I THINK ALL HE IS TO ME IS JUST BEING FRIENDLY. HE'S TOO FRIENDLY. I AM STARTING TO MISTAKEN HIS FRIENDLINESS FOR LOVE. BECAUSE IT'S ONLY INFATUATION .....

I'VE GOT THIS IMGAE OF 'MR WONDERFUL' GUY IN MY MIND  WHICH I DON KNOW WHEN I STARTED HAVING IT . I DON'T KNOW YOU & YOU DON'T KNOW ME . HOW COULD I STILL FEEL THE STRONG CONNECTION?! . DAMN STUPID RIGHT! >:( AND THEN , I KEEP THINKING , HE MIGHT HAVE SOMEONE HE LOVE , AFTER ALL , WE ARE STILL BOTH DIFFERENT WORLD PEOPLE... I JUST HAVE THOSE WANT-TO-KNOW MORE ABT YOUR EVERYTHING KIND OF FEELINGS. ITS NOT SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN CONTROL -,-

BUT I STILL BELIEVE WHAT ALICIA SAID , MAYBE ITS BECUS ONE OF HER POINTS SHE MENTION . (LOOKS) HE SEEM SO FAMILIAR TO ME , I FEEL THAT I'VE SEEN HIM? KNOWN HIM ???????? SOMEHOW HIS BLUR MEMORIES STILL APPEARING AS IN IT JUST TOOK PLACE YESTERDAY. AND , BECUS OF VIVIEN MENTIONING HIS NAME DURING RECESS YESTERDAY , I SMILE LIKE NEVER BEFORE. I CAN'T CONTROL THE BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH . CAN YOU IMAGINE , HE LIGHTED UP MY GLOOMY DAY !!! I CAN FACE MY LAPTOP THE WHOLE DAY , JUST BY SMILING LIKE A FOOL TO THE SCREEN , BEING LIKE A REAL STALKER ! ~____<    AHHh!!! I WANT GO CRAZY ALREADY ._______.   I FEEL SO STUPID , SO IDOIT , SO FOOLISH !!!! THIS IS LIKE A PRIMARY SCHOOL KID MAN!!!

CRAPPPP OFFF , ITS GONN FADE. NOTHING ELSE. ITS JUST A MOMENT OF ATTRACTION . YES IT IS ~~~~      I'M SO-NOT LETTING THE HISTORY OF THE PAIN TO REPEAT AGAIN! NO MOREEE!!! D:

&&the very least , i still believe that my pain is still there. its like a disease that can strike back anytime , anywhere. hence , my protective walls are much strongER.

I love him very much . But his not trustworthy .

2011-04-16T23:14:00.134+08:00

I love him very much . But his not trustworthy .

Before i start to blog everything on what happens ytd with awesome people , i want to write down my thoughts about yesterday movie as you can deduce from the song above & the title :)

Choose between :

Guy no 1 : His a flirt , but he loves this girl very much . He didn't realise it all initially yet he kept contradict himself and tend to get attracted to hot girls easily. Once , he make a wrong descision and did the whole world guys would make mistakes . He regretted. He nvr do that EVER again . Know why ? in the end , he resisted himself becus he actually fell deeply in love for this girl . He finally realised the importance of her.

Guy no 2 : his always there for this girl , can say its her guardian angel becus he was there when the girl break with a jerk from the start. He had been thoughtful , trustworthy and had all sort good character of a good guy . i swear. Also , he love the girl ever since they first met till three years plus . His just perfect. How can a girl find a guy near perfect at such age ? I guess this love is the sort that keep giving in without asking for anything .

[They both did super duper romantic stuff to win this girl heart . Really , its touching ! ♥]

Dear readers , i have a question for you all , Who would you choose ? :x

While in this movie , this girl actually love the guy 1 which is a flirt deeply . But she choses guy 2. Why ? She want a guy that she can get reliant on no matter what happens , not a guy that contradict himself too much . Who knows ? History might repeat itself , the flirt might just repeat the same old mistakes again right ? But i know this girl still love the flirt from the bottom of her heart deeply.

So , is this true love ? is this a so call " happy ending " that everyone wanted to hear? No ? Yes? Cus this girl doesn't love as deep as her heart for the one she's gonna marry cus it had gone to guy 1 already . I dont know ah ... seems complicated. The bottom of it , girls always want a long term partner but not just a moment of love that could be thrown or forgotten anytime .

---

Enough of pondering :X

Yesterday ,went to bugis with Qianyu , Vanessa & Kexin . Had tons of fun with the girls :D I was name as the ' Fasion advisor ' for the day . And yayy , didn't spent $$ cus i resisted myself from doing so :DD There's so many people and we hold hands to sqeeuze thru the crowds to avoid getting lost with one another :) Ate yogurt & As usual , neoprints and camwhore everywhere ! :) Met the boys at 6pm .

yummy !

*Hug back :))

hurray ! :DD

This silly girl almost lost her wallet ! Scare die me :X

More guys include , krishnan , osmund , shaun , tianfu .

Make it short , we were super noisy inside the theatre . And once , qianyu even clap when a guy got slapped. Then osmund *stares at her :P Junxiang was crawling around and qianyu scream when she felt itchness on her leg , turn out , its junxiang hair. :P We laugh the loudestt!!! ^^ Lastly , KFC Family meal for our dinner & bus home :) Fruitful day with awesome people :)) I ♥ my friends.

Buhbye ~

Replacement

2011-04-13T22:52:00.002+08:00

I need to find back my courage.

I'm not going to lie; about how much the heart hurts or how badly this is tearing me apart. It hurts, and I am awfully torn to bits by it. I can hardly breathe, but no, no emotional hurt is so great that it will kill. So I am still here with shriveled pieces, still alive.

crap i'll be over it bye

Ps: Qianyu! You'll be over it soon! Cheer up & Face it . :)

Heart to Heart

2011-04-10T22:01:00.004+08:00

Hiie guys ! Back to updating :)

I've been getting lesser & lesser readers! WHYYY ! ):

Anyway , today was boring ! Staying at home , being so lifeless~ All i do was eat , sleep & eat :D

Let's talk about saturday where i met my honey :) Long day with her but it was really enjoyable ! Yishun Mrt Station > Clarke quay > Vivo City > Amk Hub> Yishun > HOME . We actually miss out a lot of people that was actually there yet we don't know becus we just spent it on our heart to heart talk . In fact , never ever stop talking . :P I just could tell her everything so easily without doubt .She understands me a lot more than i thought , same thinking for everything & anything :) Eventually , i realise I trusted her more than before. We spam almost 130plus photos a day! Its a lot \m/ . :D

We bullshit about a lot of things , share tgt our problems and unhappiness. Actually , we just thrash it all out :D So , you could actually imagine there's so much unpleasant stuff within these month. I guess it was never a good year from the start ... Oh well , we had a lot of jumpshot failure yet a few well-taken ones :D We even make plans for our upcoming holidays already! *excited* I just need to tell her , i'll be always there for her too ♥

Bought the same friendship necklace , love it !!

Spent over $10 plus for sticky T_T

My boyfriend ! :D

Okays , shall stop waiting for those 130 plus photos to be completely uploaded. All in facebook :)

Goodnight!

They were right, I really was just a game for you

2011-04-04T22:38:00.002+08:00

W.E.A.K

Yes I won't deny that, now I'm letting you know what's in me. How great is that? Use it as a tool and hit me hard on my soft points. That's what fakies do, don't they? Wait for the downfall of a person and start gloating all about it.

The thing that makes you the strongest will always be the one that makes you the weakest. So remind me again when I'm emotionally strongest? When I break free from someone I care about most, that's when I'm strongest. I build my faith on broken tears. Then suddenly I get all loser, and fall for a guy. Then let them manipulate and pull the strings of my heart. Yes I am weak.

Even wanna use twitter also relying on someone to talk to me first. Guess today will be my last 11:11 wishes. Gotta stand strong.

These days i got some shocking news which was the very least expected things . I guess it was not NOT easy for me AT ALL. It was like if i got stabbed by a knife right through my heart. Its just painful .)'; All of this pain controls my everyday thoughts. I can't erase that so easily. What should i do , what should i do?? , eventually it went to an helpless state . Gosh, everythings suck up , last week was the most shitty week ever , i really hope for a better life , free from those emotions and problems+result! Can god grant me ? =/ I've been working hard , i've been trying to live life to the fullest , can't you all see i'm trying ?! *sigh! i'm tired..

Sunday outing with Ting , i could say it was a happy day out with her becus we were like back to our old days , talking , chit-chatting like never before , i just could tell her anything . Thanks for that . Much appreciated.

lols , cock face ^^

I hope you guys reading this would be free from problems or any other things , just happy alright :)

Those Smiling Days.

2011-03-30T19:29:00.019+08:00

My feelings ,

woke me up each night.

I constantly feel like I'm missing out on everything. Like everything is happening somewhere else. Like I'm not living life to the fullest. The problem is that I never do anything to change it. I just sit here and write about it. I sit here and stare around while somewhere over the rainbow amazing things are happening. Amazing things that I am missing out on.. I need to change now because before I know it this will all be over.Then , maybe I shouldn't wait until I'm ready. I don't think I'm ever going to be ready to change. I doubt anyone ever really is. The time is now. If it's a sign I've been waiting for, here it is. Everything will turn out fine, I hope. If it doesn't , i know i'll be able to take the blow becus this is reality after all .Right.

i'm afriad of getting replace by some of them . Even though i know i wont be able to make it , i still have that glimpse of hope lingering around .

What happens on Friday & Saturday

2011-03-27T20:52:00.003+08:00

As you can see from my title , i gonna blog out everything ...

beware , its a wordy post .

Upset upset upset ): There's just too much things happening in a day . Shit everything .

Let's start from friday . It was the most upset and tired day ever. Who to turn to ? who to trust ? I question myself. Yet , i told Alicia everything . She's just the best partner i could ever turn to. People are just too fake. I got accused again and again . I got to face something that was so sudden , it just pop out just like that yknow. Then , someone that i tot i could rely on , that paticular person that understands me just turn out to be the same as the others. He still can play around , fooling around like nobody business. TSK. =/ I got super irritated and piss seriously. Haiz , everyone is just creating unnesscary attention . Shit sia.I hate cowards that don't dare to face reality. *humph ... And , Osmund , I admit , i broke down , as shown from my watery eye in class. Thanks for always telling me to stay strong :)

Before the council duty , i was affected by my bball performance. Lousy shit. ): I guess , i could never feel the joy in it anymore no matter how hard i tried... yes, I got damn affected by didn't show it. =/ Then , sec2 ptr was in fact tiring . The truth is , everything just got mess up . Me and chloe was the prize presenter , yet we ruined everything by going out late , while the principle tot there's was no prices to be given out initially. Though , no one blame us , we took the blame. In fact , we should, dont we ? There's a lot a lot of movement in the hall . Everything just got screw up , from my perspective. I tot we were different , we would do better . I guess i was wrong to think about that. Now , it just makes me afraid of what would happen in a few months time when we take over. We are just too complacent , i guess.

And then , otw home , i was talking with Alicia about family family stuff. I think that she was super upset by the way her parents 'treated' her. Trust is the key, isn't it ? While ,on the other hand , i'm just glad to have a parents like my mum&dad. They are way better, in fact , not a day that i would get troubled by my 'family' cus they are always supportive no matter what :D

♥

I hope you would stay strong , and stop giving yourself uncesscary stress.

Allow yourself to do what you want .

and , make sure things work the way you wanted

so that you can prove to your mum that you can handle everything well .

Take her hurtful words as she love you , she want you to do better and better alright girl :)

Anything can tell us lo , we will always be there like how you be there for us :)

With lots of Loves ,

Saturday

you , i feel so happy for you , yet sadness filled me afterwards. . ..

As for me , it will always seem like a cycle , a merry-go-round. Never ending stuffs. The worst is yesterday . I bet you all can never imagine how sad can i be . I tot it was nothing , but turn out , i was devastated over it . IT just meant the world to me , and it become ............... ): I looked at it , it just contain all the memories , all the hurts and sweats that were once contained. *heartache* My mum still can say ' i give you money , you go buy new one lah , i not purposely one ... ' wtf . Yesterday was indeed a downpour , in fact now , it just became worst. There's just too much pain , i still can't accept the fact that it was damaged..

I question myself , Haiz, why do all the shit stuff happen to me =/ Now , i got to face what it takes.

Heartache

2011-03-18T20:02:00.003+08:00

We're often stucked between two types of people :
The one you love
The one who loves you

So, how and what are we to do when we meet such situations? Do you or you or you know? Sometimes, thinking is good... it makes me think of many things and at least all these while.

The one you love.
When you love someone, it doesn't means that the person would necessarily love you back. Although that person doesn't love you, you often tell yourself you're willing to wait. And even if you can't get him in the end, you comfort yourself by telling yourself love needs affinity. But how are we to control how we feel when we just feel that way? When we just love, we love. It's not as if anyone wants to purposely fall for someone that won't love them back right? -.- And you're willing to give everything up for him, you don't mind sacrificing anything. Your time, your love, your money.... your friends. For the one you love, you go to far distance, to a certain extent, I don't know how this can be under a human's capabilities to do so. That's how you love someone. And then he knows you love him, so he asks you to go with the one that loves you instead of him. And because that's what he wants, you'll just agree and... it wasn't your choice in the end, or was it?

The one who loves you.
In return, the one who loves you is always there for you, he is willing to also give everything up for you. He doesn't mind if he's your spare tyre, he doesn't mind because he loves you. Put yourself in his shoes, it's just like you wanting the person you love to love you back, to at least turn around... With the one who loves you, you are like queen. Whereas to the one you love, you'd always have to chase after them. You're always behind them. At times, you don't have the heart to hurt the one who loves you, so you ended up being with them.

Well , Once there was someone who told me, if I loved someone, I should hold on tight and not let go, because we can only love once that hard. Yet, another told me that if we love someone we should learn to let go, so that we can let the other party find happiness. But of which is a choice that I should make? It was never ever of circumstance, but of choice. We all do contemplate, but it's the final choice you make, that matters most. And once you've decided, go on with your choice, do not regret, do not look back -

Okays readers , coming to an end , i'm just writing down my thoughts that i've been thinking lately ,there's still much more that will come along the way , cus there's just too much things happening in my mind =/ and of course , i'll blog about all my outings during march holidays soon ! Do drop by next time ! :D

I just need to know if you are alright...
I feel so helpless becus i can't do anything for you anymore.

Happiness

2011-03-16T22:35:00.001+08:00

I went to marina barrage with Qianyu , Shihui , HweeSi , Vanessa , kexin boys like junxiang , krishnan , yangzhi lots and lots of people :D They are super fun to hang around with :) Apprantly , the rain cause us to stay indoor but we still had fun with the little amount of food which we whine and whine that we were all hungry =/ , still we camwhore around. We even play truth or dare . >.< It was a fruitful day with them the whole day out . HweeSi is so funny that i keep laughing along with her during the games , she's a great friend ^_^

Anyway , I was rushing from basketball summer camp to home and then back to meet them . I was really sweating and running a lot a lot :) I can say that , ytd was really a chaos for me \; Anyway , it was worth it !

Photo spam :) Sorry if it lag your com :P

depressed kid.

2011-03-10T21:01:00.001+08:00

I'm like this little girl right now , moving into deep thoughts , taking every steps , struggling my way through each day. I tend to doubt on everyone , including those close one. I'm unsure of such feelings . I'm beginning to feel so tensed up because i keep it all hidden. Lots of things happening yet i'm kept in the dark , people changed yet i don't feel this way . I realise friends fall apart. Everything's just a dream.

Eventually , i realize i got to trust No one, neither can I.

Only music, That's my way out.

i lie , i pretend

2011-03-06T00:36:00.010+08:00

Hello hellos :D Firstly , i was pretty amazed by the number of people that drop by my blog everyday without fail just to check my dead updates everyday :) Well , i can say i love all of you (: i would want to blog more often becus i've got an interest on blogging , it allows me to throw all my rants , fustration , sadness and all my mix mix emotions.>.< Its creepy when a person that you used to know become a person that is not what you always know. Very creepy , doesn't it ? It has always been bothering me . .. =/

I miss all the times , those craziest moments. Those unfullfilled dreams.

Okays , let summarise this week . its pack with test and test and more test. I got demoralize bit by bit when i know all my lousy results. ): Honestly , i just dont have the mood to study , its not the time yet. I still want to skip all my lesson , not going to school everyday . School was always mundane . always. Going home early was not what we always do . We often got to stay back for training till late night and competition followed by competition . But now , its totally different . Sometimes , i tell myself that its much better now , dont it? I feel much more relax than ever and get to sleep more , feel less tired in school .... I hate this contradicting feeling .
"Should i or should i not ? "was what the question that pop out to me everytime. I just feel like letting all go . Just let it go... will it be better ? O.O Time , please let us feel better.

Some updates about me now ,
---
Last week went out to eat buffet with qianyu , van and shihui :) They are awesome people. I love them ! :D
Great friends like kexin , qianyu ,darlings including some jokers in class that make me laugh everytime more more , they never fail to pull me up whenever i feel like falling . In fact , they know me , they know what's happening . Quite surprising to learn that :>

♥

Today , went out with my classmates to do the ytzen challenge kind of thing , walk around yishun park with the freaking hot weather ! T_T Tiring but quite fun hanging with them , playing swing and some stupid stuffs :) Thanks Mdm Is for the treat of KFC. :} Afterwards , played ball with some other friends. I lost all my ball sense, i just feel so lousy about bball . =/

Look at the amount we ate ! Haha O.O

My ugly bangs :X

Thats all for the week . I cant wait for the break , even though its short. I just need rest and happiness. I can't wait to spent more time with friends . Can't wait to eat buffet with darlings again . HAHA. This coming week attending some NE course with Marcus and school related events like community heart day . I hope it turn out well and fun (: Goodnight ! (:

我很不服气

2011-02-27T00:22:00.008+08:00

I still can't get over this reality yet. Not yet. I thought we can pull through , i thought we can make it . I'm still upset over the defeat . Someone please teach me what to do or how to do to ease the pain within myself.... It kills me more than anything . Slowly , i began to realise that the higher our expectation , the harder we fall .. so it was true in the end. I've let my team down , including graduating seniors. Regrets can't get the better off me . We lost once again . ONCE AGAIN you know. Twice is enough , how can i take it the next year \; How can everything still be the same next year then ? How can the people in the team still be the same ? How can we still stay this bonded after so much of our up and down..... yes , i doubt everything now . I'm just fed up ... Waiting kills. i don't want to wait. ): So if you tell me , "Next Year " , forget it lah .

I quit trying harder and harder everytime . We sacrifices a lot a lot for this shit and we got something like this in return . I hope this was a dream , a really bad dream . Can i wake up now ? ): I don't feel like fighting anymore seriously , i find nothing to convince myself to do so . Time is just too long , effort is just wasted , everything is gone . NO MORE. Where do i find my next motivation ? I hate school . I hate everything . I hate this ugly truth . Once its gone , it will never come back anymore , same goes for my passion , my spirit .

I Just Want To Give Up .

Reality.

2011-02-19T23:32:00.009+08:00

These days , was getting really emotional . Council friends and some others will know the reason i guess. Frankly speaking , there just so much to think and worry about . I dont want to live for others but to live for myself ..

Coming to think about it , Sec3 camp is on this coming wednesday . ^_^ I still remember , we nearly cannot go becus of the clashes of so many match , was quite fed up . But its all settle ! :D

I can't wait to go but i dont want to tired myself out becus next friday got another match . A little update for our zones now , offically in top 8 position but we are now put into a very very extremely dangerous situation becus we lost to Naval Base -,- We must win this monday . MUST MUST MUST. Or else no more nationals and history will repeat itself. ); I trust my team . I really do .

Okayzz. Making it clear here , i can't be bother by a lot of things now . I'm often get piss off easily and get depressed becus of lil mistakes . This period i guess would be my crucial period? Lots of things to worry about. When i've done worrying about certain things , another things is going to be on th way to add on to my stress. My dad keep telling me that i'm just too young to talk about 'stress' But its not totally true >.<

Perhaps , just a lot of things changes , and this week is just so-so emotional that tears keep flowing down . (Right ?) I need to thanks those whom understand me inside out , but just apparently some don't at all . * disappointed*

Again , thanks for dropping by and it is a very messy post . I got to rest now . Probably updating again next week . Cus will be away from singapore !! And come back to celebrate alena birthday ! Nightzz

Sweet :> A must watch drama !

Talk to you only lor , blog

2011-02-12T20:30:00.015+08:00

As you can deduce from my title, I can only find myself here.I got a lot of rants to thrash it out once and for all. I am unable to comprehend the way I feel now. My heart is fluctuating like never before. I do not regret the things I do. But the wait kills. I was contemplating for a long time, thinking of consequences if I did what I did or just leaving things the way they are. I am unsure if this is the best choice to get things going but I know that is what my heart really wanted at that point of time.

Yesterday run, i was running and running like never before , i guess this was the only way for me to sweat it out , vent it all out as well .. The fact is that it is always there lingering around me , trying to affect the decision and choices i've made to myself. Why such feelings so irritating ? Like example when i decided on something that i want to do but when i got affected by outsiders , i start to waver . I doubt myself if it was all i have to do at this moment itself.Its like a lost in direction afterwards. Its sucks. It kills me inside. I seriously dont understand myself being two totally different person at the same time . One moment , i could happily with my friends , but in the other , i could be all alone moving into deep thoughts. Thinking & thinking. I've those lil ' heart-to-heart 'link yknow , its likes at one moment , you have a strong feeling of meeting someone and then , there he/she is. This kind of feeling make me feel much more enlighten and happier. Somehow , i dont want this 'heart-to-heart' link of mine to stop . I want it all , i need to feel it all .

I suppressed my feelings so hardly that i couldn't even breathe.. how long will it take or rather how long will i be able to give away that lil diary of mine ... But when i'm totally 'fine', I would announce to my darlings first becus they will be more than glad when they hear this. Next .... probably it will be you ... :') By then , everything will come to a stop . yes, it will be .

Wake up early on saturday morning for a match against jurong . It was just a total shit that i've played. Bad things happens to me nowadays. I'm seriously sucks at handling all these emotionals and stress that i've created for myself. I'm not like what i'm use to be . I talk to vivien about how much i've change afterwards, in fact , its a big change if anyone of you had notice it . =/ I need to squeeze my way thru somehow or another , or else i'll be seriously down down down right to the bottom . And this is not what i want . Neither i want become a burden to others. I should really focus. I'm really sorry for the super lousy plays that i dont even understand what i'm doing inside the court. Argh . This feeling of being helpless and useless sucks. I need to buck up on how i shoot and layup accuracy . 'Give Up' is not the right word at this point of time. In fact , we still got long way to go . I believe.

Sometimes I wonder.... without jjj-oelle.bs.... how would I be able to suppress the over-raging insanity within me? Thank god I have readers like you guys.... I am fine..

2011-02-06T22:30:00.000+08:00

My major happiness during chinese new year. :D

BUT before that , I guess i should start writing about my chinese new year holiday first. First, i was rushing home straight after match . Then , i went malaysia , so it was really tiring for me to handle cus my legs are hurting me ); But, it was all worth it cus i got to spent time with my cousins.^^ We went shopping , playing , sweeping those morning leaves outside the house . Hehe ! It was really a great experience for me becus i've never done that in singapore :) And we get to sit at the back of a 'lorry' and enjoy the breeze ! Shiok ahhhh .

So , the major happiness was !!!! I get to sit on a horse ! I am afraid of almost anything in the world regardless of animals. Like dog , cat , chicken , duck , blahblahblah . I've got this weird phobia . But , i dare to sit a horse :D So ... while i was otw back singapore, this strong feeling of mine arise. I want to buy a horse when i grow up , i want one that is all belong to me . :) :) :) When i told my mum , she scold me crazy -,- ZZZZZZZ . Anyway , who cares ^^ I'll buy one when i grow up , i swear.:P

Obviously the helmet is toooo big -,-

Chinese new year pictures taken . Not all , i'll upload on facebook when i'm free :) Cousin will be uploading the photos when we sat on the 'lorry' :D

It was the one whom make me overcome the fear :) Blackie !?! :P

Pressurised effect

2011-01-29T22:13:00.003+08:00

If i hadn't walk out hurriedly that time ,

i would have miss everything, even if it was just for a seconds

Hello guys ! Thanks for constantly dropping by checking for my new update of my life / rants/ unhappiness blahblah . Talking about today , totally worn out by waking up early tgt with the grp members to practice for the class performance. I really hope it turn out well T_T I was moodless today thus I don't have the mood of going out squeezing with the crowd , i'm sorry darlings. So.... what i've done today was SLEEPING ! Its been long-long-long seen i've slept comfortably for 4 hours :) And and , much more happier note that totally enlighten me was my dream , had two dreams in a row today , i'm complex. Actually now , i was hoping to go back to the same dream again for tonight please please please~ .. Cus , i miss you.

Lately , everyday life was pack with school work . Never fail .. Wheras, Training atmosphere had beginning to become more intense. I'm afraid of tuesday . i dont want the day to come..I feel that i'm not mentally nor physically ready for it . Why am i contradicting myself then ? I've been waiting , training so long just for the zone yet now i dont want it to come . tsk . weird much . I can't let this feeling of mine put to ease. Its been haunting me since friday , when me and alicia was in deep thoughts over it . Lol.

I believe we are all scared , nervous having the sort of sensation mood back , we are all putting up a fake mask. Argh..........pressure and more pressure day by day . Can things turn out well enough , or just that we hadn't done enough? I still can't figure out the empty spaces in my mind nd heart >:

Save us.

Last sunday , camwhore with weiting :D

Tht day was perhaps the worst day i ever had... For the first time , i hate myself. F myself.... Still, thankyou weiting for being so understanding .

Just for a day , i need to feel everything is right.

2011-01-21T23:14:00.000+08:00

I find that i've change for the better and worst during this period. I become lesser and lesser reliant on anybody , i give cold shoulder to others to avoid fake hopes . Every night , i would start to reminiscence everything , yes i do that . I think it had become my daily routine so that i could eventually fall asleep after that.. I smile when i'm with people that care for me , love me becus i dont want any of them to worry and i hate to become a burden to them while they alr had so much problem . Slowly , i find it hard to smile when i'm alone , i guess this is the real me . I really can't find the right words to portray what i truely felt cus its just a mixed emotions of many things that i faced everyday . I hate it when they accused me of something that i didn't do. I'm tired to face it now , i'll avoid for the moment before i thrash it all out someday .

Recently , my friends are all down with stress , sad blahblah , soo,

to everyone ! :D

I don't dare to face the reality. I want to be someone's best friend always. But i guess its not for long only exception for certain people . I wish to be there for someone when they need me. But I don't have the courage too. Everytime I want to care about the other person, I can't open my mouth to speak those words, or even ask them a simple "how are you?" or "are you okay?".

Yea I sucks. Sucks at being a friend, good or best. And usually I'll give up this job, this position to someone else. Cos I'll always think that they'll do it better than me. But this is the truth. I can't handle both relationship and friendship wisely. I always failed in both. Yea sucks much. I can't toggle them just like how others did, neither can I do well in one. So actually I'm sort of good for nothing. I don't dare to assume that I'm the one that the person currently needs, so when to step in and be a listening ear I don't know, all I'm doing is sit and wait till people come and approach me...

Well, just some words to people whom I care for, I'll probably never voice it out, but hope you'll get it somehow: (don't see already then try not to think too much and think it's not for you or you or you, but yes, if you feel a thing for this post, it's meant for you and you and you and you and you! Lol)

Though I don't speak out, but I'm always looking out for you. Yea silently like a stalker -_- I know what's happening, and I know there's someone who'll pick you up. So I left quietly. If no one comes to pick you up, I will. I'll always put myself in the last choice.

my UP and down ride.

2011-01-16T23:12:00.007+08:00

Sec 3 life never had been easy even for once. You know ... there so much things for us to handle , its like after i've done certain things or hmk , there will be MORE that was written on my stardate . I seriously dont know how am i going to survive without my stardate aye? :> And da,, i'm always going everywhere these days, like things to buy for school , prepare things for my room , meeting friends up and lots more. Taking today as an example , i saw alicia twice ._.

Alright , i'm looking forward to this coming sunday which will be spending the whole day buying my NEW YEAR CLOTHES & my own clothes , accessories , wallet , bag blah blah . i really hope nothing goes wrong.. Oh , Northzone gonne held at presbyterian sec, we are all gonna miss our cheese fries + early school dismissal :P

9-1-2011 Uncle wedding ! :D

fail family photo , the rest at my uncle's camera.

I feel so black , so uglyyy >:

I can't wait to wear wedding dresses, taking beautiful pictures with that special someone of mine . I think i'll be the most prettiest person for that special one day with my beautiful wedding dresses and my husband . Awww... thinking about it , its like 10 years or more down the road for me to put on wedding dresses. I envy my aunt . HAHA. Time please fast forwarddd :] plus plus during these few days and some other time when i'm at my grandma place , i finally understand the importance of kinship on a very deeper level. I'm totally myself when i'm with them , its like we are so young right now but we dare to dream big , we planned for our future like going oversea tgt , move and stay next door with one another , staying up late at night to chit-chat , play ghost with and scare one another :p and so on & on .. We nvr run out of topics regarding our future. I cannot wait for chinese new year which will be our next reunion guys :D

算了吧，我放弃了。这一切都成了定局。

2011-01-12T22:47:00.005+08:00

Happy Birthday ALICIA !

Everything that i need or want to say , i have all written it down ! Its full of sincerity okay , so better love it ! :) Stay happy ^o^ hehe ... trisome love you !

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Okays , here a topic that was conducted during the VIP lesson , i find it meaningful thus want to blog about it. :D

HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF ?

My top 3 :
No 1 , Acknowledge your effort
Its not always about winning or having success in everything that you do . Many times , it is the effort that counts ! Acknowledge that you've done your best , even if you have failed to produce tangible results.

[ I NEED TO TELL MYSELF ITS OKAY , I CAN ALWAYS WORK ON IT , TRY AGAIN & AGAIN. ]

No.2 , Forgive myself .

As much as we must learn to forgive others, so too, should we learn to forgive ourselves.As much as we should learn about our strengths, so too, should we learn and accept our limitations.The problem with us is that we often attribute every tiny bit of problem to ourselves.In our obsession to be in control of everything, we consequently believe that anything that ever goes wrong is our fault.Accept your faults.Do everything you can to correct them.But learn also that not everything is your fault. Learn that you cannot correct the things, which are beyond your control.Stop trying to carry the burden of the world upon your shoulder.Carry only your own cross.

That is all that is asked of you.

No.3 Practice Silence
I’ll just go for a long walk. Practicing silence allows for you to get a glimpse of the person you really are.I know the act of practicing silence may not qualify as love for some people,but I feel I’m most connected with myself spiritually when I’m still. While I don’t resonate fully with any one particular religion, I’ve had my most spiritual moments when I’m sitting in complete silence.Practicing silence allows for you to turn off all that chatter and self doubt and directly experience the bliss of being alive. You owe it to yourself to be silent at least once a day.

*Credits to different website :D which i find it useful ;D*

Hope it will enlighten you'all someway or another , check out more youself! I need to sleep early already , tmrw need to wake up super early to get my math right with my friends ! ): GOODNIGHT. I hope i dont fall asleep during lesson tmrw again .

Hopes , Dreams.

2011-01-10T23:09:00.002+08:00

This few days , if you guys have been viewing my twitter , you would know that i have no RIGHT amount of sleep each day . T_T Saturday & sunday was at malaysia for my uncle wedding day , it was fun + meaningful i should say . Staying with my cousin and all , its the only time that i am being myself , leaving far far away from the city area really keeps my mind at ease. I want to go back often . :) Hopefully could upload some photos by this week after my cousin uploaded.

School started today for me becus sec1 orientation had come to an end. I need to get back to lesson mood . I was behind time , i feel so out-of-place, so disorganised. ); Oh , i need to thanks all my best friend helping me along in class to cope everything :D Thankyous .. Well , Talking about my new year resolution which ms see told us to write on EL lesson , i did not really plan out everything becus oftenly there will be a huge list left undone like last year. :> Thus , this year , i just want to stay happy and work hard for studies & bball .

LEAST EXPECTATION= LESS DISAPPOINTMENT !

I'm pretty busy with all the activities that was packed plus training . I hope life would be better. But , i would still blog often . I enjoy it in fact :>

Randomly found this :)

Boy: I broke up with her.
His Best Friend: What happened?

Boy: She’s just too much for me.
His Best Friend: What makes you say that? What did she do wrong?

Boy: Well, for one.. She only cared about her appearance. Always had to look good, always took forever to get dressed! So insecure..
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she wanted to keep your eyes locked on her? She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest girl under your sleeve and not think otherwise? I see..

Boy: Oh.. Well.. She’d often call me or text me asking where I am, who I’m with, telling me not to smoke, not to drink. She’s so clingy!
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she cares about your well being? Because she cares about you a lot? And her greatest fear is losing you. I see..

Boy: But.. Uhh.. Well, she’d always cry when I say something slightly mean. She can’t handle anything. She’s a crybaby!
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she has feelings? And because she just wanted to hear you say you love her? I see..

Boy: I.. Well! You know, she’d get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other girls! She’s so annoying! I had to hide it from her so she wouldn’t bitch about it.
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she just wanted you to commit to her? She thought you were faithful, but you lied so she could find out later and hurt even more? She just wanted the guy she loves the most to love only her. I see..

Boy: Well, she…
His Best Friend: You broke up with her because she’s good for you? She just wanted the best for you? She’s broken now because you were selfish. Are you proud?

His Best Friend: You lost the girl that loved you like no one else could. You see? You didn’t want her when all she ever wanted was you. THAT’S what happened.

Struggle

2011-01-05T23:09:00.003+08:00

Just like the past,
I wish someone would lent me their's shoulder when i feel like crying .
I wish there's a listening ear operating 24 hours .
I just need someone that understand me .
I've been feeling so lousy these days. Not for anything but for my emotions.
Oftenly , i would write down whatever i feel on my blogger but did not post it out as somethings arent meant to be shared. And then , i caught myself tearing . I want to get it over , its hard yknow. Its not like abc. I'm trying to avoid many things , people nd the truth as much as i could to not getting emotionally upset. I hope i would feel happier inside.

People dont see the effort someone put into . Rather , they gave it to certain people that don't deserve anything i should say . No offence though . They jump into conclusion . They accused. I hate this bullshit. I just want things to work out my way.. Just for the start of school , i feel this way , becus i realised its nothing actually. I shouldn't have put much effort into something that is nothing. They are all surface people , i guess. Perhaps , i hadn't put in much effort in front too . Its useless trying to fight for a place there . I rather not.. I quit trying to do so . Focusing on bball which is my only motivation for school. And then , when zone & national all ended, i would have to search for my new motivation .. as , somethings& people is no longer there for me . Everything is not worthwhile.

Its never too late to start anything

2010-12-30T22:51:00.008+08:00

^ baby photo with my brother kissing my cheek :>

Its been days since i've posted. So these days was tired+busy i can say . My cousin was here for the past few days. With him around , its just so funny with all our inside jokes and teasing him with some stupid stuff, we often stay up late to watch 'SAW' and some korean ghost movie. So , i'm so lacking of sleep . Today , he left and i hadn't got the chance to say send him off becus i've training. I really miss him ); I'm much closer to him than my brother. His just so great. ;) Perhaps, its okay , thinking about it , gonna meet everyone on the 9th Jan ^^

Match against yishun & raffles . We won . We are given ruffles for winning raffles.:D After this two match , i can say its a confident booster for everyone. I'm glad. I can't wait for northzone to start , getting jersey + team tee too. *Dislikes* whoever that look down on us >:( Sometimes , i just don know what wrong , previous two friendly match , i can say i play like shit.... I need to buck up mentally . I'm afraid of losing the passion these days. I've been feeling this , i hope to get over it soon becus i use to be the one whom is being so enthu for match&training . But , tell me why , i'm not feeling this anymore. Shit myself. I need to speed up, becus time don't wait for me . I'm sorry for those lousy plays...

Time flies , tmw will be the 31th . Just one more day to spent with 2010 . I really hope next year is a slightly better year with a new principle. Hehe :) Tmrw will be a movie day out with darlings & steamboat at potato's house ! Hope everyone would have fun on the 31th =))))

GoodLuck ! :>

Xmas

2010-12-26T00:26:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the late wishes ...

25-12-2010 ,

Thanks everyone for the text messages and wishes , facebook msg nd all :>

Merry Christmas ! May your dream come true , stay happy =)

I'm not a least bit happy becus my phone is dead since ytd ); Tmrw gonna go repair ! ): Nothing much actually . Christmas eve was awesome with seniors and friends ! Will upload some photos here once its being uploaded. Crazy fun time at nicole's house. Well , i got a cute LunchBox during the exchange gift part ! Haha , thanks rabbit :D Update more when i'm free ! Byeeee peeps !

Oh , http://imperfectionflaws-.tumblr.com/ Follow my tumblr & twitter ! I promise i'll make it daily unlike my blogger :> Many lovessss !

It was only just a dream

2010-12-21T21:59:00.012+08:00

Ni hao ! =)

Surprisingly, i missed the days in council camp & junior leapord camp :) Just now , i randomly went into council blog and browse thru what the teachers had wrote and also all those pictures we had taken . memories and more memories just rush into me. Although its nvr been easy , and i often feel very 'SIAN' or what , but its still worth it whn we bring back what we learnt . Haha ;)

Talk about today , i went out with darlings and yiling to buy christmas exchange present gift. Well, i dragged to go out today simply becus my face look so shag . I've been wondering why , i sleep much more hours than a normal person should sleep which is 8 hours?... yet every morning i'll end up yawning again & again . O.O So this coming Friday we will be going marina barrage for chirstmas exchange gfit with seniors that the reason why we met up today :P Its gonna be much similiar to th time when we went sentosa! :> Looking forward to it bah ? =) I love christmas , its just so beautiful! :D

Going ah ma house tmrw , be back on thur afternoon .Then, My mum gonna buy me a dress for my uncle's wedding held on the 9th of jan . I can't waittttttttttttt :D

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{!!!} Hey guys ! I'm creating a tumblr soon , reason why ? Becus its simple which can post some instant feelings ... and pictures there are meaningful+cute :) I realised that Things ain't going well, so I'll write a lil down what I feel literally, cos some things aren't meant to be shared.... Okay , currently still working on it , so... follow me and drop by often once its done ! I'll inform you ;) Thanks people !

Lots of love , Angela !^^v

I WISHED.

2010-12-17T22:40:00.003+08:00

I've been away from home for the past days ! Penang trip and came home on the 16th at 4.30am ! And went to have a quick nap then off to bball chalet ! Haha . It was fun though :D Well , penang trip was basically just visiting temple & MORE TEMPLE . shopping & more SHOPPING . Didn't manage to buy much though.. Most attracting part was eating & MORE EATING ! >.< Their food was just so nice nd worth it , so... it tempted me .. . T.T I guess i had to lose some weight ;) Fun times with cousin , just so memorable .

Wishing tree.

As shown , i've make a wish and i hang my wish on the wishing tree. I hope someday sometime sme angel or god will see the brightest wish list hang right at the highest of th tree ... *pray hard*

Okay , that all for penang , the rest was with my cousin .:> Then around ytd 9.50am went to meet seniors and teachers. Firstly , Wild wild wet with basketballers was awesome ! Got myself sun-burn . but crazy times . HEHE. Then went to buy some stuff for bbq while seniors and teacher went to check-in, so we wasted 2hours plus trying to start the fire , freaking hot and turn out that it was th low quailty charcoal , manage to EAT A LOT AGAIN. Ahhh! Feel my tummy is seriously getting bigger each day , the worst is that no training next week , good thing or bad thing ?? awww.... Overnight there and early morning check-out.

*Chalet pictures with vivien , check out facebook ! :D *

Went for breakfast then straight went to vivien's house to watch movie . Kidnapper , it was nice *thumb up* And make some pancakes and irritating vivien kept dont want me to go home !:x bleh ...

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Yup ! THAT ALL FOR THIS WEEK . Tmrw will be participating for the inter-ug games since council was part of it too . Hmm, my feelings is messy , i hope to get it over sooner or later.....

Circle On The Sand

2010-12-12T00:01:00.000+08:00

Hi again! ...In less than 8 hours time , i'll be visiting them . :> Apparently not all cousin are inside the photo becus it was taken long LONG LONG ago when i was in P5 inside a cable car at KL :) This time , we will be going to penang :) I can't wait to leave singapore.

I'll come back with beautiful pictures :> Hopefully could go straight to bball chalet too . And , JIAYOU TO ALL B GIRLS this coming monday match against Zhonghua . Secondly, JIAYOU to tmrw match U14 to all Sec 2 & 1 . =)

Little update for today : I was almost late for work today. Working was super tough today . My foot hurts and the break time was not enough for me to rest . Argh ... All i hope for today was time to fast forward , but everytime is still going very slowly~ =/ Finally , i learnt that money is so hard to earn ): And of course , i'll nvr nvr ever wanna do that job again ! D: It would be my first nd last one ! Haha . Hope Alena could jio me for ice-cream job soon :DDD

I'll update again when i'm back ! Till thn , BUHBYE =) MUST MISS ME ^0^

Step by Step.

2010-12-10T23:25:00.027+08:00

Today, Person A told me how he feel towards his CCA , He rant out exactly the same thing as you did in the past . To be honest , everyone faces the same thing . And so , i told him what you once said, rank is just a status , uniform is just a piece of cloth , certificate was just a piece of paper, medal is just nothing , becus inside was just purely air. What behind is your effort , your personallity. What goes around , come around. Focus on what you should do , give 101% of the effort nd you would get what you deserve to . Always positive , and things would be getting in your way . And ,

Everyone had the potential to be great leaders that lead big crowd, just got to work things in your way , rmb , 'Leaders are not born , they inflence others and also, A good leader is not to create followers , but to create leaders. ' - - You told me that , and it apply to everyone .

So at last , person A told me that his very last intention was still bringing ytss to greater heights and improving its standards. Person A told me that even though i just say out how i feel , but its still inspiring . From that moment , i smile like one dumb to myself and thought , you're really a great leader. :) No doubts.

Actually , you taught me a lot , you just hadn't realise it .... Most importantly , you taught me love.

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I need more time .

My emotions are jumping all over the place

2010-12-08T20:03:00.004+08:00

Early morning went to shop @ Jusco (Malaysia) tgt with my brother's friend family > Eat > Shop& Shop > Back home then .

Tired and the weather was bad =/ . Mostly was travelling and nothing else but keep buying food >.< (my fav sushi) ! We decided to buy clothes etc at Penang when we get over to my cousin place at KL :D Few more days and buhbye to singapore ! :D

Happy Birthday Daddy ! :)

My awesome dad always!! Although we always quarrels , but his still the one that know me best and understand me :D

Order Pizza hut family combo with this cake for dinner today. *yummy !(:

Got to run + training tmrw for all basketballers ! :D Jiayou YIDAO!

i miss talking to you .

My Unrealistic Fairytales.

2010-12-06T22:36:00.002+08:00

Yesterday , i was super tired ,i slept from 10pm straight to 11am . Till now i still dont know why am i like this . So , came back home after two match, which is totally exhausting . Talking about match , yesterday is really like a BIG stone knock right down to us. Disappointed with myself. Probably , becus i'm super nervous.. I didn't know my layup is like shit now. I should have work harder. I should have focus and spent more time on ball . 1 month or maybe lesser than that to our Northzone, I'm just afraid. I'm afriad to let seniors and team down. I dont wish to see any of the seniors that will be graduating next year to leave with regrets. We should work harder & harder ...SIGH*

Against Hawks , i regretted. First & two quarter is just not ourself.Neither am i myself. We had never experience this shit before. I hope for time to rewind. Just once....\;

Today met with darlings to watch "Rapunzel ; A tangled tale" . Its was a great movie. I've been thinking & thinking , will this ever ever happen? Like 1% out of million.... Actually i do believe in a lot of unrealistic stuff like 'soul mate' 'happily ever after'? and lots more once... Even though it wouldn't be true and not gonne be true . Stupid or what? haha. Anyway, If i've a second life , i want to live in my own fairytale world with that special someone . Its gonna be th most perfect love ever , dont it ? .

During the movie , there a part when the lanterns are all being light up , its just beautiful . I wish oneday , someone will do that to me T.T (FAT HOPE) So , in conclusion , fairytales are still fairytales in the end , its would never happen in reality becus its too good to be true and thus, nothing goes "happily ever after" . Sad but true , we just got to admit to this unfair world. :X

Lastly, Talk crap , shop and back home :> Training + Match against Unity . Even though its the last (?), lets make it to the best :D Wish us luck aye? :> Hopefully i wont be too tired becus i wanna watch destination truth at night :D

My eyes just got so much to say today.

2010-12-03T21:54:00.004+08:00

I'm HOME ! :> Today i finally bought my books in the morning , Argh! I wanna more sleep T.T Then back home went to prepare to meet the seniors to collect the jersey for meixuan and myself :D And i'm off to meet vivien for seoul garden ! Alicia last minute wasn't coming with us );

Planning was to eat seoul and then g movie but instead we just eat seoul and shopping , so its still as fun though. Crazy , stupid , retard stuff happen inside seoul garden . HAHA. :D and stay 3 hours inside , what more ? of course eat eat eat and my mouth nvr stop! >< Since my suffer inside camp , i shall eat back and then sports again on sunday , i'm so looking forward to sunday becus i can play ball already ! *Burn FATS !

Oh , we went to do some this :

it was meant to wear it on th hand as shown , we had our three names on each of it :> Its super chio and i'm loving it ! <3 Don't worry , i've safe keep alicia's one :>

I've whole lots of stuff to buy after today ! how how HOW ! I can't resist the temptation . Gonna get some listed at my list today on next monday when our next outing with darlings to movie ! Hopefully nothing goes wrong this time :) I want to buy a lil bit more before i'm going oversea again .

People ! Good news is that i'll be getting my own room soon ! haha , cannot wait :D Thats all for now . Updating tmw ? maybe ^0^

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Today , i walk back to where we always walk , where we always go and what we had done . deep thoughts flood my mind while i'm alone in the bus or walking . Shit myself. I feel so suck most of th times. I'm sorry for certain poor attitude. I'll nvr do that again .

My life is in a mess \;

2010-12-02T20:41:00.008+08:00

Hellooo readers ! I'm back from 3days 2night council camp ! :D *Clap clap !

Theres just so much to say , but i'm not gonna type out everything .It was tough becus of all those punishment but at the same time , It had been really fun being with all the council .Most of the activites are fun though esp th Night walk :D where i give a lot a lot of comments while inside the haunted house and got scolded from seniors and the ghost couple of times :p but overall its very meaningful i guess ? :D

All those mini reflections every now and then really was like a constant reminder to each councillors about the purpose of this camp . We had already start preparing for the Sec1 orientation next year , and we're gonna skip first week of school ! T.T Its a BIG event for the council , i'm really looking forward to it but i dont want to skip lessons . Haha . contradict myself ><

Boogie Woogie night was the best tooo ! All the performance from each grp nd the seniors was awesome ! Lots of laughing , talking , shouting , fun night i should say . :> But i felt that CHEF is always the best right right? :P haha.

To sum up everything , its about commitment , endurance towards those run etc , and council working towards the same goal , Jonas constant reminder everyone , 'Never be afraid to fall' . I believe he must have realised our weakness for this batch itself . we are afraid of failures . I could see his pretty upset for the things he hadn't done even better , but its not this way. His a good senior i would say. We learnt from our mistakes and those little words that seniors and ms wong told us. With that , hopefully all sec2s are ready for the 13th YTSC :DDDD

Seniors took videos nd lots of pictures with us and also some unglam ones too , looking forward for them to upload all the pictures at facebook aye ?:D

Thank to Ernchi & Syafiq for giving all the flag duty people cards and kit-kat :D

Our only SEC 2 LC Jonas for giving all sec2 card . :DD

All sec2s wrote their comments and etc here :D

yup ! All were just mini updates about what had happen actually. haha . Look forward to my next update ! I'll promise to update oftenly :)

Dear Dairy,

2010-11-25T20:06:00.005+08:00

Finally , i've been so pack with my bball senior and friends today , its actually a good thing , so that my mind wouldn't anyhow think again. Although i didn't play during the match , but still a good play for YTSS B&C , become a referee instead. Then went outdoor from 12 plus to 1plus becus of C girls punishment . Well , pretty sad for them eh ):At least i had my umbrella 0.0
Went for lunch . And went fragrant wood with huiyi , alena , serena and vivien to play bball awhile in the rain and then play with rain ,getting wet.. like small kids going crazy and some retarded moves :D Its fun but superrrr cold ! D: Bus home and i'm so cold now ! :> Fun day with crazy people ! ^_^
I WANNA PLAY AGAIN SOMETIME :)

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This song , i've been listening again & again , its nice !

A video says a thousands words.

Some beautiful scene inside the video^ :

我还想他 . ..

A dead road right infront of me

2010-11-23T19:12:00.056+08:00

I'm just so confused.

What you said to me and your actions is just the opposite.

Why am i so silly everytime ...

I just need you to touch your heart and speak the truth . \;

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Visited my grandparents for 1 & half day , everything was fine there :) Awesome cute kids there, they sure had grown up ! Dinner at resturant and mum bought me lot of stuff when shopping :>

Before i came back , i went to a super old therapy place near my grandma house. He knew where it hurts without me saying anything , and afterwards , he gave me ....

this so called " Magical pills" , i'm gonna take it until its finish , plus can't play ball for 1 week.. Haiz ! On thur , we had match against dunearn & kranji , friday had training , i'm gonna miss this important week ): Starting from tmrw , i'm taking that ^ pill \; I cannot eat a lot of things , all i'm taking is porridge plus some canned food. I wanna eat seoul garden with some council friends & alicia )= Sucks sucks ! HOPE I CAN FASTER RECOVER AH! NO MORE WAITING FOR THIS IMPORTANT 1 MONTH LE !!!!! & i'm gonna miss my yummy food >< Hehe!